All about Madi

Madi is now one.   She had a lot of fun on her birthday, there were friends and family with her to celebrate.  She was a little reticent of all the attention, but loved having people around.    The cake was not a hit, she needed convincing to "dig in" and really just wanted to be fed.  She was a little sleepy, even before the party she seemed wired and excited, Madi knew something was going on.

Birthday cake

opening presents

crawling away from turning on the TV

Sand and water table

 
Mike asked that the grandmas and aunt as well as the two of us write her letters for her first birthday.  I'm putting them them on here, too.

Mike's

This one is mommy's

Sweet Madilyn,

You turn one today.  A year ago you came into the world and changed our lives forever.  It's been amazing seeing you go from a helpless infant to an opinionated one year old.  You are so attached to me still, but feeling more and more comfortable being a little more independent and exploring on your own.  You still like nursing--a LOT.  You're a rebel with sleeping and many nights will only sleep snuggled up next to me.  And I'm OK with that, I love the snuggles. You love riding around in the Ergo carrier, some days the only way for us to get anything done is to strap you on and carry you around the house while we do laundry, dishes or vacuum.  You love your puppies and kitties and they've started to like you too (now that you're not pulling on their fur so hard).  You're funny.  I think you tell me jokes with your eyes some days.  And you're smart!  You know what ducks, dogs, cows, tigers and lions say.  You wave bye and hi.  You tell us you want a "ba" or a "buh" (bottle and booby).  You call your dad "da" and sign "book" and "milk". You're learning a new word or sign every week or two now.
 
You're gorgeous!  Your blue eyes and eyelashes are piercing.  Your hair is blondish with a little red when you're in the sun. 

You're learning to walk.  You've taken steps here and there, you walked across the deck last night. It certainly has to be on your terms now, you like encouragement, but too much and you shut down (and sit down!). You love going to the park, but prefer going UP the slide rather than down.  And you're opinionated about swinging.  You don't like it one bit.

I love you, Nut.  You're an amazing little lady and I can't wait to see what the second year of your life brings.

Mama 

It's been a crazy few months around this house!  I'm growing like crazy and spring is on it's way!  Mommy and I have been enjoying being outside when she doesn't have her face planted in a book or up at that place with all the computers and no windows!  So, updates are in order!   In December daddy was home for work an awful lot and mom and dad kept talking about "layoff" and "unemployment".  He's not home so often lately, and they both don't seem as stressed, so I guess that's good.  Then, we had Christmas and I got lots and lots of new toys. Mom and dad say something about being "spoiled", whatever that means.    My mommy has kept me home from daycare 4 times since November because we've all had Strep throat that many times and I was running a fever on Tuesday, which mommy has right now.

Mommy is really busy with school, and seems to be kind of stressed out, although she's better now that she has a week off for spring break (even tho she's sick).  She took me to the indoor pool today, I had SO much fun.  I liked swimming and going up and down a slide the had the landed me in the water.  I wanted to do it over and over and slept through dinner tonight I was SO tired!

I'm not walking yet, but I'm getting close! I have one tooth that's come through all the way and another that's coming.  I love stacking stuff and LOVE books.  If I see books on the table I reach for them and say "ba, ba" until I get one!  I love pictures of animals and the sounds they make.  Since it's way easier to get an idea of what's happening from pictures, I'll stop now and show you pics!

I'm quite pleased with myself.  I've figured out how to move across the floor to get what I want.  I'm mobile.  Just today I figured it all out and crawled for the first time.  It was great.  My mom and dad were laughing because I crawled 6 steps and got to my pacifier, giggled and POUNCED!  I am just so pleased to be able to get into anything and everything.  Look out world, here I come!

Mommy and I got to hang out all weekend on the couch while we recovered from our 2nd round of strep throat.  Let's hope the antibiotics work and the silly kids at daycare stop passing this to us!  We've had enough.  Daddy got it too but he wasn't really feeling sick, my I was coughing and mommy had a fever and chills and sore throat the last part of last week.  I don't like being sick because it makes us all grumpy!

Daddy worked on our deck project.  Some time ago, my mommy decided the seating on the deck wasn't good enough (there were benches and huge gaps to fall through).  She tore the railing of deck down in anger at it one day.  So it had been sitting there just waiting for me to come along walking in the spring and get hurt.  So daddy is expanding the deck and changing it a little so that it's safer and bigger!  Let's hope he can get the project done before people come for Thanksgiving.  Right now there's a big hole off the back porch where the deck used to be.  (pics to come)

My mommy dressed me up for Halloween.  Kind of.  As usual, she procrastinated and couldn't find a "proper" costume.  She had found a cute puppy costume at Target early in October that was too small--and she was not going to dress me up in the $40 chicken costume that was the only one left at the strip-mall Halloween store.  So she found this polar bear costume for me to wear.  It was warm, I wore it for the day and was cute (of course).  And mom may have me wear it again when it's cold outside.  Babies like me are cute cute cute with ears and paws. I went to a couple neighbors' houses and then came back and helped daddy pass out candy.  But I couldn't eat any. At least I was cute!

Happy half birthday, Madilyn.  It's so amazing to have you here.  I am so thankful you've come into our lives.  Every day, I think of the first moments I held you and how deeply in love I fell immediately.  You're an amazing little lady.  6 months ago, our lives were incomplete.  Now you're here and I can't remember life without you.  I love you, nut and am loving watching you grow.

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I got a message on my phone today from a producer with Judge Joe Brown wanting me/us to appear on the show regarding the aforementioned court case.  I'm seriously laughing my ass off.  There's no way I'd do that.  Wonder if that means SS called the show.  Classy.

I have a date in court.  I'm taking former daycare provider to court to get back my deposit.  I went over there on the 1st to see when she was going to return it and things got ugly.  Should be fun. . .or it could get all Judge Judy.  Either way, should be a good time.  I've never had to do this before. . .

I survived the first week of craziness that is graduate school.  Toting Madilyn to and from the acceptable daycare I found that is all the way across town.  Hauling my breast pump up to campus.  Arranging a pump room with a professor.  Pumping in the 15 minutes I have between classes. The first days of playgroup, which won't be so much "play" as work for me, but fun all the same.  Getting over a nasty cold.  I've worked all weekend on reading, and then discovered I have a project due on Thursday.  And all the goals and lesson plans to do for playgroup this week.  And there's another client I took on to work with on Mondays.  I haven't even looked at that file yet.  Nor have I started the project that is essentially funding my living expenses (not tuition).  I could be just a little bit busy.  My evenings have consisted of reading and spending as much time with Madilyn as I can.  I need to squeeze in more time for working out, somewhere.  Gotta get this baby weight off.

It's a little bit of a culture shock to not be working at my previous job.  It hit me last week. . .as I was riding the bus. . .that I'm a student again.  And only a student.  A student who's a mom. Weird.

Madilyn is 10 days away from being 4 months old and I thought I'd share some thoughts I've had lately about the breastfeeding relationship Madi and I have.  It's been a tough road, to say the least, but I'm so glad we've gone down it.  Breastfeeding was not an option. . .it's how babies get food.  I took the classes, read the books and bought the stuff I needed to give the new babe breast milk.  I snickered at formula coupons and scoffed at the Dr's office sample of formula we were given at the first appointment.  No formula for MY baby.  Mmmmhmm.  Breast is best after all, right?

Madi latched on, pain free right away.  The next day, however, something was wonky and I was getting really sore.  I complained to the nurse who took a look and said "oh look at that milk!."  No. . .it was actually skin.  Ouch.  She went to get the Lactation Consultant (LC) on duty that Saturday.  Rhonda.  Rhonda came in and shoved the baby on my nipple.  Ouch.  She then told me that I may have supply problems because of the shape of my breasts ("tubular" and far apart).  Huh? They're certainly not huge, thank goodness, but that's not supposed to matter.  That woman pissed me off and I didn't listen to her doomsday analysis of my body.

I let my hungry baby have a little bit of formula the 2nd night in the hospital because my milk had not come in and while I knew colostrum was supposed to be enough, we all needed a little sleep. I got about 2 hours that night.  We left the hospital and that night Madi was inconsolable. I hadn't slept more than 5 hours total in the previous 4 days and at about 2 am I was so exhausted I was in tears.  My mom came to the rescue and curled up on the living room chair with Madi and I finally got about 4 hours of sleep.  Glorious sleep. 

The next morning (Monday) I took Madi to the Dr's office as it was just the Doc on call who saw her.  Madi was jaundiced which worried her doctor.   Thus began almost daily doctors visits, lactation consultant visits, and more stress than a new mom and baby should have to deal with in their first week together.

Unfortunately, Rhonda was partially right. While most women see one breast produce more, my right produces WAY more than the left.  As I type, I'm pumping and am getting a trace amount out of the left ("tubular") breast and almost 3 oz out of the right side.  (The right side is my super booby.)  Early on, even after her latch was fixed by a private LC I paid a ton of money for, she was only getting .5 oz or less per feeding and was not gaining weight as she should.  That LC was positive, agreed that the shape was not ideal, but encouraged me to continue.  She told me I would need to supplement with formula, pump an hour after feedings to increase supply, and take herbs to try and increase supply.  In the end, I took Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, Mother's Milk Tea, a tincture from Motherlove that tasted like ass.  When those didn't work, I took Reglan.  When that caused me to get jittery, I went against my family physician's wishes and took Domperidone.  It's not something super well known by her and I don't think she was comfortable with it.  It's actually not FDA approved, so I had to have a compounding pharmacy make it for me ($95.00) and order the next month from Canada.  It didn't do anything for me and I think it's possible it caused some irregular bleeding that actually hurt my supply instead of helping. 

Where are we now?  Madi just loves her booby.  I've been able to be home with her for the last 4 months and she gets breast milk almost exclusively.  I still need to give about 3 oz mid afternoon and 3 oz of formula in the evening as Madi gets really frustrated at those times and needs the little extra to nap well, it seems.  It certainly has been a long road and I still cringe a little when I mix a bottle of formula.  The important things are that we have a good breastfeeding relationship and a healthy baby. I've gotten less squeamish about nursing in public, it's not a big deal to me now at all, I just grab a blanket or put a hat on Madilyn and let her go to town.  Had I not had great support from the LCs (especially the one I had to pay for), Stefanie and my physician, I don't know that I would have continued.  I  plan on feeding her in the morning and the evening and pumping while I'm away.  I'd love to make this relationship last another 2 months at least, and another 8 months, or one year, is my ultimate goal.  It's an amazing relationship and I wouldn't change it for anything.